deconstruction

For about two years in a row, whenever I got my Tarot cards read, I would always get the Tower card.

I thought it was an accursed card.

Diane tried to convince me that all cards in Tarot bring both light and darkness; one card isn’t worse than the other. But what was I supposed to think when the card depicts a lightning bolt setting a tower aflame, knocking two people to the earth?

Destructive and creative. That is the Tower card.

It was shocking … to let go of beliefs, attitudes, practices. To look at yourself and identify qualities that you have nurtured – even have been proud of – are the qualities that cause yourself the most damage.

That’s why deconstruction is so painful. And liberating.

The key is to ensure the new tower isn’t built on the same falsehoods that caused the collapse in the first place. I do really well for a while – choosing stones that reflect my values. Using mortar that helps me create the kind of life I want for myself and those I love.

But, sometimes the fears seep in and I compromise. I find myself using old-fashioned tools and materials, convinced that the old wives’ tales about fulfillment and security are true … instead of having faith in my own architecture and creativity.

So, once in a while I have to take a sledgehammer to my own work.

It’s not so bad. You get used to it. Realizing you make mistakes and have to do some renovations.

All change happens because it's needed.