These past months, I have been under the illusion that whatever state of mind feels difficult to achieve must be the "right" state of mind.
On the days I want to succumb to anger, I convince myself it will not lead to a solution.
On the days I'm overwhelmed, I strive for serenity.
One the days I feel at peace, I question if the peace is true.
Pema Chodron says when we come across any kind of adversity in our lives, our first instinct is to look to be grounded.
Instead, she says, the answer is to recognize there is no answer.
There is no grounding. There is no certainty.
(Though it’s what we’re trained to do, right? Set Goals. Make Plans. Measure Success.)
Let it all go – she says.
No soothing of the chaos, no finding out who you are, no planting, and no pulling it all together.
No planting?? (I need to plant a little, says I).
Let things fall where they may. Succumb to the anger, be overwhelmed, feel at peace. All in the same day, if you must.
And the truth lies in what falls before you.
And, apparently this is what sets you free.
Not the answers.
But the experience of the questions.
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13 comments:
Lovely post, Honour.
I love Pema Chodron; thanks for her thoughts tonight.
I LOVE Rainier Rilke, and your last statement immediately reminded me of this quote:
..I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
in Letters to a Young Poet
-Lydia
there is no answer. so hard to come to grips with but I must say that Buddhists are very good with this philosophy. Perhaps it is a way to attain peace, inner.
You know, I met Pema several times, before she was a "name." We had a meditation group on Cape Cod. The leaders had studied with Chogyam Trunpa and started a local group. Pema was good friends with the woman who started the group and came down two or three times to talk to us and meditate. We called her Ane Pema. Ane meaning auntie. Interesting woman.
This is very true - we always seem to want what we dont have or to fight against ourselves. We all have inner doubts to deal with and each of us has to find our own path - often there are no signposts
I'm not sure there is a single path to happiness or contentment - its a long road and the fun can be found in the travelling. Quite deep for a Friday afternoon!
Wow
We are SO
On the same page
How I wish
I could have come here
When I was
Your age…
No regrets though
For much I hold dear
Are the things I picked up
On my way here
This is no end point
That concept has gone
Every new “here”
Just means
Time to move on
I thought I had posted something before, but I guess my computer is being a piece of crap.
Anyway, this is one way to look at things, but I would think, only when everything else is out of your hands. I believe in being pro-active to shape your own life. Otherwise, we'll all end up succombing to other people's more discriminatory and oppressive visions of it.
This reminds me of a yoga class I took once--the instructor talked about how emotions were like weather systems and we had to just let them pass through us. I like to think about that when I'm feeling anxious.
Interesting....today I guess I got to experience this.
We are grieving the loss of a friend since his death on friday morning. We spend time crying, some times just talking about him, our history with him, then get on with our usual tasks, then come back to thinking and talking about him, crying some more, just letting the feelings be what they are in the moment, then going into separate rooms, doing our own things, until something else reminds us or we bring it up and we share our feelings with each other, hug, talk, and go on.
Not trying for anything in particular. Just allowing the feelings to surface when they are brought up by mind, talk, reminders from others, etc.
We feel sad, anger, relief, grief, love.
Lynn, so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, with things that touch our heart so deeply, we can't try for anything in particular. I read this beautiful analogy once about how to live through grief. When grieving, emotions are like planes that land at an airport. Sometimes it's sadness, or anger, or fear, or love like you say. But, we have to remember, we are not the control tower. We can't say what lands and what doesn't. We're the runway. We just have to let the emotions land. Peace to you Lynn during this time ...
Yes, that is a good anaology.
It sometimes feels like you are being dive bombed and other times its a smooth landing, other times there is great air turbulance and a rocky landing. In time it will all be smooth again...as we come to terms with his finally being at peace then so can we be...at peace within ourselves. Death is certainly something where we are not in the control panel. (most of the time).
Hi Honour, great post, I can identify so much with it! In "Tuesdays with Morrie" (Mitch Albom) Morrie says he sees an emotion coming, then he feels (lives) it all the way through, no matter which emotion it is - fear, anger, love... That idea still lingers in me.
the grounded moss longs for the chaos...
we grow by... in it...
really enjoyed this beautiful post... wisdom
thanks for all other nice words you write on my blog... always kind... always wise...
Lydia - I also love Rilke and am reading that exact work right now! Mmm ....I appreciate the sharing of his words.
Suki - that must have been an interesting experience to meet Pema. I occasionally attend a buddhist prayer group here too (linked to a nepalese medical clinic i help with fundraising) ... for months I thought the nun's name was Annie, not understanding it meant Auntie!
DFTP - yes, indeed, no signposts at all :) as i get older, i realize the value of journeys ... hopefully the concept sticks.
Bobbb - i consider you a friendly guide, on this road to zen. my appreciation goes out to you.
samurai - it is indeed only one way to view things. the value is looking at all perspectives and seeing where things fit for you at the time, i think.
sonya - i love the weather system analogy!! i'm going to add that to my list of things to remember in times of anxiousness. the other one is my airport analogy (seen in my comment above)
lynn - i hope things go as well as they can. soon, other planes land too -- like peaceful acceptance of the situation and of your friend as he was. nothing you can do but love, right? it's nice to know that is the inevitability of it all.
Tania - this is getting a bit eerie, Tuesdays with Morrie is another book lying on my coffee table waiting to be read! I'll move it up on my list...
HB - you are another one of my guides, dear HB. nothing wrong with chaos :)
Honour, you have so much wisdom to offer in this post...it needs to be revisited many times, and linger awhile also.
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